Taking the First Step After Loss
“Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life.”
I recently heard of a tragic loss close to home – someone dear to my family lost their spouse suddenly.
In these moments, I’m reminded of just how hard it can be to move forward when the unexpected happens. When we lose a partner, it’s not just the absence of the person; it’s the upheaval of our plans, routines, and dreams.
The emotional journey is heavy enough, and then there are also crucial financial steps to consider, especially if you're in retirement or close to it.
If you’re facing a similar loss, or want to prepare for the “what ifs,” I want to share a few gentle, actionable insights to help you take the first step forward in a time of uncertainty. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, please know – it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not alone in this journey. 🤍
1. Start With What’s Essential
When you’re in shock or grief, even small decisions can feel enormous. Start with what’s essential.
Prioritize immediate needs. Look at bills that need to be paid right away, such as housing, utilities, and medical costs. Keep it simple at first.
Gather financial records – bank statements, insurance policies, and any retirement accounts. These documents will help give you a clearer picture of your financial landscape.
Tip: Keep a notebook handy to jot down questions and reminders – it’s normal to feel scattered, and writing things down can ease the mental load.
2. Seek Out Key Documents
Your spouse may have managed different parts of your finances, and now it’s your turn to step in. Key documents will include:
Will or estate plan
Insurance policies – especially life insurance, which may help cover immediate expenses
Social Security information – if you’re eligible, contact Social Security to inquire about survivor benefits
Retirement account details – this includes 401(k)s, IRAs, and any pension information
Tip: This might feel like a lot, but it’s okay to tackle it a little at a time. Some days, it might be one document; other days, it might be none. Progress is progress.
3. Evaluate Your Financial Plan with a Trusted Guide
After a loss, many people feel hesitant to ask for help. Some worry it might make them feel vulnerable, while others aren’t sure who to trust. If this resonates with you, know that you don’t have to carry this burden alone. There are people – financial advisors, estate planners, trusted friends – who want to help you find a clear path forward.
Choose someone who listens, not just talks. Your feelings and questions are valid, and a good advisor will guide you at your own pace.
Look for clarity. If an advisor or financial planner doesn’t make things clear and understandable, they’re not a fit. You deserve clarity and respect in every step.
Remember: It’s okay to ask for help. If you feel uncertain, take small steps. Start with a trusted friend, your children, or even local community resources that offer financial advice for seniors. There’s no pressure to commit, only to move forward in a way that feels right.
4. Plan for a New Financial Reality
Losing a spouse can bring about a change in income, especially if you’re on a fixed retirement income. Reviewing and adjusting your budget is a wise step:
Update your budget to reflect your new income and any changes in expenses.
Consider survivor benefits that might be available to you, including Social Security.
Review health and insurance plans as you may need new coverage if your spouse’s plan was primary.
Taking the first step might look like making small adjustments, then revisiting the plan later on. This process is about finding a manageable rhythm as you go forward.
Take a Step Forward with Me
I understand this journey can feel isolating and uncertain. Just keep reminding yourself that it’s one step at a time. If you or someone you love is navigating a loss and doesn’t know where to begin, I’m here. My role as a financial planner is more than just numbers – it’s about creating a safe place to talk through your needs and hopes, even in the midst of loss.
With Warmth & Strength, ~Jess
P.S. 📅 Ready to take that first step? Schedule a call with me to discuss what a financial plan that honors your future could look like. I’m here to help you rebuild with compassion, one step at a time. 🙏
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