Marie Kondo and The Old Ugly Blue Couch
“Gratitude is one of the strongest and most transformative states of being. It shifts your perspective from lack to abundance and allows you to focus on the good in your life, which in turn pulls more goodness into your reality.”
Growing up, our family didn't have a whole lot of extra when it came to material things. My and my siblings' clothes were mostly hand-me-downs, our household products were generics, and the furniture was antique*.
(*due to age, not monetary value)
Frugality for us was a financial necessity, not a value signal. Wasting hurt. Taking more than your fair share meant someone else might literally have less than they needed.
I learned early that I could have 1) something new, 2) something en vogue, or 3) something immediately. On rare occasions, two could be achieved. Never all three. Some of this has served me well as I've moved on into adulthood. I'm mindful of discounts, thoughtful about planning for big expenses, and have no aversions to thrifting for high quality items.
Some of it, though, wasn't as positive.
Case in point: The Ugly Old Blue Couch.
The Ugly Old Blue Couch was a generous hand-me-down from my parents when they downsized and no longer needed it. And here's the thing you need to know: it was always blue, but it wasn't always ugly. We did that to it.
Years of young kids...
...and furry family members...
...wore it down. And trying to keep it clean (and presentable) wore me down.
During that season of life, I noticed every single couch at every single person's house that we visited. If it was nicer than mine, I felt shame. If it was torn up like mine, I had thoughts like "Well thank God...at least I'm not the only one."
Looking at it in my living room gave me anxiety. Thinking about how I couldn't afford to do anything about it right away left me frustrated. I wasn't a "keeping up with the Joneses" kind of girl, but that couch sure tempted me to throw a credit card down and buy some happiness.
Enter Marie Kondo, Stage Left.
Then, one day in 2019, an episode of "Tidying Up With Marie Kondo" changed everything about my perspective of The Ugly Old Blue Couch.
Along with her methods for tidying, Marie has a unique way of greeting a new house that she enters. Here's a quick clip explaining her practice:
In that particular Netflix show, she was walking through the client's living room. As she moved around, she took hold of a pillow and thanked it for giving color to the home. She then took a seat on the couch and began to thank it for all the bodies it had gathered, all the love it had shared, all the memories it had held over the years.
If you'd been a fly on the wall, you'd have watched me sit there, on The Old Ugly Blue Couch, bawling like one might do at the end of a RomCom when the two characters flashback through all the moments they've taken for granted and finally realize they were meant to be together forever.
Except it was just me, flashing back through a hundred thousand taken-for-granted moments on The Old Ugly Blue Couch, recalling all the bodies it had gathered in my home, all the love it had shared with our people, and all the memories it had held in our family's lives.
And then - eventually - thanking The Old Ugly Blue Couch for holding us up all those years.
Enter The New Beautiful Gray Couch, Stage Right.
Just so we're clear, the moral of this story isn't about frugality and never buying happiness. As you might can tell from the pics above, we were extremely excited to welcome The New Beautiful Gray Couch into our home for Christmas 2022. And it's carried on perfectly with the tradition of gathering bodies, sharing love, and holding precious memories for us.
What this story is about, however, is how a small change in perspective gave me the gift of contentment and gratitude with something that was previously a thorn in my side. How that contentment and gratitude provided me with the patience I needed to make wiser financial decisions about a large purchase. How that patience allowed me to stay aligned with what I want (I like having a warm, safe space for people to gather) and who I am (I am someone who makes wise money decisions).
As a financial planner, I see people in the midst of these decisions all the time. It can be incredibly tricky to walk the line that exists along what you want and who you are. A simple perspective change can make all the difference on the front end, while providing space to make wise decisions for the long run. One of my favorite things to do is to help people figure this out.
As you go forward into the weekend, I'd love to hear from you.
What are some of the things in your life that seem in conflict, when it comes to creating happiness while also making wise money decisions?
What are some of the perspectives you've learned that have helped you align those two things?
Most importantly, have you ever had an Old Ugly Blue Couch? I need to know. 🤣
~Jess
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